Guess what I did on Labor Day---you'll never believe it.
I bought a Christmas present!
Which I'm sure is unremarkable for some people...but I am me! I have bought and wrapped a Christmas present on September 3rd! WRAPPED!
I am kicking butt at the world lately.
Here are some Observations arranged by topic.
FOOD & BEVERAGE:
- I bet Seven-Layer-Dip is the Most-Often-Made-for-a-School-Project food item.
- Order a Vodka Gimlet up and very cold from a bartender in a college town and watch her look dizzy and confused. Sorry it's not a Jaeger bomb.
- Did you know that Twinkies were originally banana flavored until bananas were rationed in WWII? Now they are plastic wrapper and sugar flavored.
- Nothing is as good in your water bottle as your own ice cubes from home.
LANGUAGE
- Sanguine is maybe the word that least means what it literally means when describing one's mood. I'll use it in a sentence: "She was remarkably sanguine considering all the blood pouring out of her head wound." I call that misleading.
BASEBALL:
- Oh God.
- Please, don't make me talk about it.
- Dallas McPherson and Grady Sizemore are the two best baseball player names in baseball.
- I believe Jeff Francouer could hit into a double play right now with first base open. If anyone could do it...
- Of my six preseason picks, two of them are winning and the other four are a collective 59.5 games back. I may not know shit about baseball.
- Why? Why? WHY AREN'T WE BETTER THAN THIS?!?!!!
- I am sad.
SHOPPING
- End of Season Clearance is not 30% off. End of Season Clearance is "I'm not gonna spend 15 dollars on a dress!"
- On a related note, I wish you were here so I could say "Ask me how much I spent on this skirt!"
- See, I promised myself when I quit smoking that I would use cigarette money to buy myself treats, but I am finding it difficult to spend the money. For me, the treat is having some money to blow, not blowing it.
- $5.99. And its cute!
POLITICS
- It's not going to be the end of the world when the Boomers are no longer setting the agenda for the world.
THE QUICKENING PASSAGE OF TIME AND THE INEVITABLE CRUELTIES TO YOUTH AND BEAUTY INHERENT THEREIN:
- September? Are you kidding me?
- I plucked a long, weird hair from right in the middle of my cheek (face-cheek) this week.
- It was gray.
SONGS I HAVE HAD STUCK IN MY HEAD THIS WEEK:
- The Little Drummer Boy
- Don't Get Me Wrong by the Pretenders
- A Whole New World from Aladdin
- The Hillshire Farms commercial, which is not even a song: I said-a Beef! Hot-Links! Very bad earworm.
IN CONCLUSION:
- If Jeopardy! doesn't get out of reruns soon they are running the very real risk of me turning my attention to Spongebob weeknights at 7:30.
3 comments:
OMG, I can't walk down the hotdog aisle in the grocery without sing the Hillshire Farm song. Yes, people look strangely at me.
I-SAY-HILLSHIRE-YOU-SAY-FARMS!
Hi Higgins,
I'm not surprised to hear about the Christmas present, since your sister has already been doing some of her Christmas shopping. And, I didn't want to pass up the chance to say how much I liked the game that your sister and I got free tickets to...I think the Nationals swept that series. OMG, I forgot you were feeling sad. Higgins, I really do have to take advantage of every National win, since there aren't very many of them. Take it easy!
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