I guess I'd better do Dairy Queen while I'm still overreacting. Because as we all know, unless you hold an elected office, moral outrage is pretty comical.
Have you seen this commercial? A girl and her Mom go into the DQ; the girl is maybe 12; she's not all tramped out in attire, but a very pretty blond girl. Mom starts to order 2 Waffle Cone Sundaes, but young Miss has caught the eye of a young kid in the next line. The girl says they should only get one sundae. As they are sitting down, Mom says she's surprised that she wanted to share. The girl says she doesn't think they'll have to. Just then, a DQ employee stops by the table with another sundae, "compliments of the young gentleman in the shark t-shirt". The guy gives her a nod, the girl flashes a smile, then turns back to her Mom and says "It's like shooting fish in a barrel." Fade on Mom looking a little taken aback and a little admiring. The New DQ Waffle Cone Sundae.
Two questions:
- WTF? I mean, W. T. F.?
- Why are you not just this second dragging that child out of the restaurant and taking her home to lock her in her bedroom until she's 21?
Are you kidding me? Really, are you kidding me? This twelve year old girl is already so intoxicated with her own Pussy Power that she does not mind behaving like a Brownie Barfly in front of her Mom?
I know, I know, I'm over the top, but something about that commercial makes me want to kill everything I see.
Now, I am not dooming this Dairy Queen girl to a life of trolling for drinks, but come on. Have we so sexualized the culture to the point that even in prepubescence the relationship between the sexes is defined by how much power one wields over the other, based on attractiveness and buying power?
And Mom thinks its cute. Like, "the good old days."
I swear I sat there with my mouth hanging open.
It's not just me, right? There is something distasteful about this commercial, isn't there? Isn't someone out there besides me that thinks the only possible response from Mom is to take the sundae, drop it on Junior Captain Roofies' table, and say "I give my daughter an allowance. Or I used to. Because based on what I just saw, she's babysitting every Friday and Saturday night until she is seventeen fucking years old. Creep."
And from Dairy Queen, of all people. Thanks for murdering childhood, Waffle Cone Sundae.
It's like if the Hamburglar carried a gun.
5 comments:
I saw that commercial the other day, but I couldn't hear the script (I was in the kitchen) and I thought "That's kind of cute." Then, I saw it again AND I could hear it and I'm with you. That one line ruined what was otherwise a cute commercial. All she had to do was keep her mouth shut...
Yes! God knows, I enjoy it when someone buys me a Cape Cod, but I don't for God sakes gloat!
I like the words, "Pussy Power" and "Brownie Barfly"(I am allowed to say these words, since they were already mentioned.) But, I think you should have "marched into the Macy's, and lit the Juniors section on fire. But, the DQ commercial is interesting, in that it "makes you want to kill everything you see." Have a great weekend, Higgins.
You don't care about sexual empowerment; you just want somebody to torch Macy's.
Happy Weekend to ya'll, too.
i think i know that little girl in grown-up form. she's in a sorority at UGA, right? workin' hard for that mrs. degree? but that turtle waffle bowl sundae was my jam last nite :) seriously, it was insane.
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